Relationships

• In what ways do the school's values, vision, and mission emphasize relationships and the importance of relationships?
• How are adults encouraged and enabled to create and sustain relationships with each student? With other adults?
• How do staff support and scaffold student relationships in developmentally appropriate ways?

• Staff believe in the importance of relationships.
• Staff understand that relationships are bidirectional. In other words, staff and students both agree the existing relationship is healthy and both are working to maintain it.

• Leadership communicates the importance of relationships through words and actions. 
• Leadership creates opportunities for staff to develop relationships with students and each other. 

• Striving for Relationship-Centered Schools: Insights From Community-Based Transformation Campaign (Learning Policy Institute)
• Mission, Vision, and School Culture (Colorado League of Charter Schools)
• Examples:
  • Weld Re-5J Vision

• Staff believe that no matter where a student is in the school building, they should feel connected to someone.
• Staff believe that time spent prioritizing relationships isn't lost time but a valuable investment. 

• Staff believe that all students, staff, and families deserve to feel safe.
• Staff believe that the various unique identities that exist within a school strengthen the school community.
• Staff understand that people with different social locations or identities have different experiences.
• Staff understand that students may experience harm as a result of racism, sexism, homophobia, and other forms of oppression and discrimination. 

• The school celebrates cultural, linguistic, and individual differences which promote identity safety.
• The school promotes open communication, which includes gathering input from and engaging in collaborative decision-making with students, families, and staff.
• Teachers know their students’ names, interests, and backgrounds and show a genuine interest in the wellbeing of their students.
• Staff weave relationship-building strategies and opportunities throughout their instruction.
• The structure of the environment facilitates relationships by creating spaces for collaboration, wellbeing, and socialization that are accessible for students, staff, and families.
• There is dedicated time (e.g., advisory periods) in the day for students and staff to connect.

• Suicide Prevention Policy and Implementation Guide (CDE-Project AWARE)
• Practices for Fostering a Positive School Climate Where Students and Staff Feel a Sense of Connection and Belonging (Greater Good in Education - UC Berkeley)

• Does every person have at least one trusted person that they can go to?
• Does the school support all staff having at least one other staff member they can reach out to for support?
• Does every student have a trusted adult in the school or community? How would the school know which students have meaningful connections with others in the community? How would they know which students don't?
• How does the school prioritize relationships and connections? 

• Staff know that supportive adult relationships are key for developing student resilience.
• Staff believe that every student needs and deserves respectful, appropriate, reciprocal relationships.
• Staff know that being a trusted adult includes modeling and respecting appropriate boundaries.

• Schools have a system for identifying and discussing which students do and do not have connections within the community.
• Teachers actively work to build connections with all students over the course of the semester or year.

• Improving Students' Relationships with Teachers to Provide Essential Supports for Learning (American Psychological Association)
• VIDEO: Every Opportunity - The Power of Relational Interactions in Schools (Atlanta Speech School)
• Tapping Into Compassion When Students Push Your Buttons (Edutopia)

• How does the school facilitate understanding and provide resources that adult SEL and adult well-being are necessary for high-quality relationships?
• Does the school climate and culture use a relationship-focused mindset – a strengths-based mindset, curiosity about experiences and behaviors, consideration of individuals having skill deficits first, depersonalizing the behavior?
• Do staff have and utilize skills necessary for relationship building?  Are staff supported to use effective relationship-building skills?  Which skills are commonly seen in the building?  Which skills are still emerging? 
• What supports are provided for staff to develop positive relationships - possibly including time, training, modeling, and coaching? 
• Do you understand where the skill gaps are (are there common skill gaps or lagging skills) among grade levels or other groupings?
• Do you model regulation and co-regulation strategies?

• School staff know that developing relationships takes skills, some of which they may possess intuitively, and some of which may require instruction and practice.
• School staff know that learning to build relationships with students is worth the investment of time and money.
• School staff acknowledge that we can all get better at building relationships - a growth mindset.
• School staff know that our skills will change from day to day, depending on other factors in our lives.
• School staff know that mistakes are part of being human, and that repair is an essential relationship skill for both students and staff.
• School staff believe that they are culpable in relationships.

"Internal" Skills:

• Tuning in to self

• Flexible thinking
• Self-reflection

“External” Relationship building skills:

• 5:1 Praise: Correction Ratios
• Recognize, Appreciate, Notice
• Active Listening
• Asking questions
• Empathy
• Validate
• Normalize
• Emotion Coaching
• Problem Solving 

• Relationship Skills in the Classroom (The Social and Emotional Teacher - Blog)
• Building Relationships as a Foundation of Trauma Informed Practices in Schools (The National Child Traumatic Stress Network)
• A Trauma-Informed Resource for Strengthening Family-School Partnerships (The National Child Traumatic Stress Network)​

• How are disciplinary practices relationship- focused?
• When a student exhibits challenging behavior, how do adults find out about underlying student needs?
• When is inclusionary discipline used?  When is exclusionary discipline used?
• Which elements of discipline are handled in by the classroom teacher?  When does behavior warrant administrative support? 

• Staff believe that all behavior is communication.
• Staff believe that most challenging behavior is a matter of a skill deficit, not a will deficit.
• Staff believe that positive reinforcement builds trusting and respectful relationships. 
• Staff believe that discussions about behavior and discipline are an opportunity for personal growth. 
• Staff believe that exclusionary discipline is not effective in creating behavior change. 

• Staff focus on building strong, respectful, and trusting relationships with students.
• Staff prioritize the relationship with the student in discussions about behavior and discipline through understanding and collaboration.  
• Staff contribute to problem-solving around behaviors to promote personal growth in students.  
• Staff are creative and compassionate in implementing alternatives to punitive discipline.
• Staff utilize restorative circles and practices to teach interpersonal skills and repair harm.
• Administrators use inclusive strategies as alternatives to exclusionary strategies (e.g., suspension and expulsion).
• All students experience caring and compassionate problem-solving around behavior and discipline. 

• What Schools Need Now: Relational Discipline (ASCD)
• Student-Centered Discipline - CASEL School Guide (CASEL)
• Restorative Practices Guide for Schools (Colorado School Safety Resource Center)
• Check in/Check Out: A Relationship-Driven Strategy for Addressing Students' Challenging Behavior (Edutopia)

• In what ways are relationships in the building aware of and responsive to context and power dynamics that exist within individual relationships and relationships with and between systems?  
• Are there specific structures to build awareness and knowledge and facilitate vigilant awareness on personal, group and systemic levels of oppression and harm?
• Are there specific structures for repair when harm is done?  
• How do staff maintain appropriate boundaries while being warm and nurturing?
• How do you assess and analyze bias and assumptions around expected behavior?
• What role does control play in the ways you engage in adult/student relationships inside and outside the classroom?

• School staff understand that racism, discrimination and oppression are active problems in our schools and communities.
• Staff are committed to equity.
• Staff know that our conscious and unconscious biases appear in our everyday actions.

• Staff listen to the experiences of youth.
• Staff reflect on their own positions of power and privilege, as well as the ways in which they may be marginalized.
• Staff apologize and model repair when they make mistakes (Circle back).

• 7 Ways to Promote Equity in the Classroom (USC-Rossier)
• Improving Students' Relationships with Teachers to Provide Essential Supports for Learning (American Psychological Association)
• Book Recommendations: 
  • Hacking Deficit Thinking 
  • The Four Pivots: Reimagining Justice, Reimagining Ourselves